Does My Ex Miss Me?

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Navigating the Post-Breakup Wonders

A really popular and common post-breakup question among exes is, “Does my ex miss me?”

Many wonder why they ask this question; the relationship has ended. What good would come from knowing if your ex misses you?

To address this first: The truth is knowing if your ex misses you brings about a good feeling. Knowing that your ex is still thinking about you as you are can be spirit-lifting. It gives you the sense or feeling that you are still in their heart and mind even if you are not together.

Now, to answer the very common question, the answer is yes. They still do miss you. Even if it’s not on a really deep level, they do miss you. It’s inevitable. You both were together for years, loved each other, and created memories. So, when that is gone, your ex will miss every aspect of it, and since you are at the center of it, technically, they are missing you. Even if it’s not now, it will surely be later.

There are signs to show that your ex does miss you. Sometimes, it might be really subtle, and sometimes, it is glaringly obvious. However, you need to understand that sometimes, your ex might choose to show that they don’t miss you. It all comes down to the type of emotions they feel.

This article will explore the psychology behind missing someone, the signs to show your ex misses you, why they don’t show it, and how no contact works in sparking misses.

Curious about your ex’s return? Explore insights at Alex Bert’s ‘Will My Ex Come Back to Me?

Understanding the Psychology of Missing Someone

How To Make My Ex Miss Me?

It is perfectly normal to miss someone. It’s a natural phenomenon. But then, one question that is sometimes left unanswered or not properly answered is, “Why do we miss someone.” “What is the psychological aspect of missing someone?”

The answer to this lies in Oxytocin – the bonding hormone. This hormone is responsible for the feelings of trust and attachment.

You see, the more you spend time with a person, the more attached or bonded you are to them – whether it’s a family, friend, or romantic partner. The feeling of wanting to be close to or around that person intensifies. So, when that connection is cut, or you are apart from them, your oxytocin levels drop, and you start to miss them. Which is normal, right?

However, right now, you might be saying, “Okay, it is perfectly normal to miss my family and friends,” but why do I still miss my ex? Why am I still missing someone I don’t want to be with or don’t want to be with me anymore?

You need to understand that the aspect of missing someone stems from lots of happy and sad memories shared. You both spent a lot of time together, so the bond between you both is strong and tight. If you ever imagined a future with that person, it also means everything in that future is gone. Just like that, they’re back to being a stranger *with memories*.

Your body and heart know that something is missing and misses it. 

Signs Your Ex Might Miss You

After the breakup, many begin to wonder if their ex seems to be missing them. They start looking for signs and asking questions like, “Do they miss me like I miss them?” “Is there a good chance they miss me also?”

Yes! There is a high chance your ex misses you. It is inevitable. You were both together for a long time, so without a doubt, there is something your ex is going to miss about you.

Here are some signs your ex misses you

1. Liking and Commenting on Your Post

This is one sign of your ex missing you. It might be subtle, but it is a sign. If your ex still comments or likes your posts or pictures, especially after a few weeks or months of no contact, this could be a sign that they miss you. It’s like since they can’t have the physical version of you, they will go get it in the digital form.

2. They Regularly View Your Social Media Stories

This might not be counted as a sign, but in some ways, it is a sign your ex misses you. If you notice your ex regularly views your stories, this might be a sign that your ex might be missing you.

One reason this sign might be debunked is that they just might be randomly checking everyone’s stories – no other thoughts in mind. But if you notice that they view your story almost immediately after you post, then there is hope that your ex misses you.

3. If They Jumped Into Another Relationship Too Fast

If your ex wasn’t cheating on you when you were dating or the fact that they cheated is the reason for the breakup, and you heard that they are in another relationship almost immediately after the breakup, then it is a big sign that they are missing you.

Going into a new relationship is a way your ex tries to move on or get your attention. Because there is a gaping hole in their life, the only way your ex feels they can fill it up is by being in a new relationship. This is usually short-lived because they are using that person as a rebound.

4. If They Ask About You From Family and Friends

If you hear from your family and friends whom your ex is still in contact with, that they are asking about you, this could indicate that they miss you. They still have you in mind and want to know more about you, especially if you are one to ignore your ex. 

Sometimes, they may outrightly tell your family or friends they miss you.

5. When You Ex Unexpectedly Contacts You

This should be the most obvious sign, especially if your ex has not reached out to you since you split, and then they suddenly reach out to you just to say hi or just want to hear your voice.

When this happens, what other sign do you need to know that your ex misses you, and maybe, just maybe, you might be getting an ex back?

6. If They Tell You So

If you talk with your ex and they tell you they miss you, believe it. It might seem unbelievable at first, especially if your ex was the one who ended the relationship. However, you need to know that there is an iota of truth in it.

Navigate the ups and downs of post-breakup dynamics with our guide on understanding and handling your ex’s hot and cold behavior.

Why Your Ex Might Not Show They Miss You

Do you want to know one of the most common and normal things to occur after a breakup? It’s the concealment of emotions and feelings. It is so common that people have become so used to perfectly hiding what and how they feel.

One thing you need to know is that nothing happens without a reason. In this case, if your ex is concealing or not showing that they miss you, there is a reason(s) for it. Some of these include

Pride and Ego

This is one of the biggest reasons your ex will not show they miss you. You hear things like, “I have my pride… Why should I show that I miss my ex so much?” Or “What good will it be if my ex-boyfriend knows I still miss him? It will show that I am weak. Please, I still have my pride.”

Your ex believes that when they show you that they still miss you, it makes them vulnerable or weak, which can be a big blow to their pride or ego. You need to know that people who are proud would rather maintain their pride, regardless of the painful situation will prefer to maintain a facade of indifference, even if they still miss their ex.

They are in a New Relationship or About to Enter One

If your ex is already in a new relationship or about to enter one, even if they miss you, there is absolutely no way they will show it. This is usually out of respect for their new partner and to avoid stirring up feelings of confusion.

So, the best thing to do is bury the feeling.

Following Advice or Guidance

After any breakup, this is where many people become advisers and counselors, especially friends and family. Even self-help resources should not be left out because many turn to them for advice.

Many tend to follow the advice or guidance of people, especially when they are in a very emotional, vulnerable, or fragile state of mind.

Your ex might not show you they miss you because they are following the advice to distance themselves from you as a means to stop missing you or avoid doing anything that could serve as a sign that they miss you.

Fear of Misinterpretation and Rejection

This is another common reason why your ex won’t show that they miss you. They fear that they may be rejected or misinterpreted once they show it, even subtly.

For instance, you may start to think they want you back, even though that is not the case. This can lead to so many forms of misinterpretations. On the other hand, if they show that they miss you, you might reject their advances, leading to disappointment and heartache.

The Role of No Contact in Sparking Misses

The no contact rule or the no contact period is a widely recommended post-breakup advice. It means cutting off all forms of contact with your ex for a period of time. This means no texting, calling, emailing, scrolling through their social media pages, or seeing in person.

No contact period ranges from a few days, 30 days, 45 days, weeks, or months. It can be long or short, depending on you. The purpose of the no contact rule is to give yourself and your ex space to heal and think about the relationship. It is like a period of reflection. 

When it comes to the no contact period, many ask if it can spark feelings of missing someone after a breakup. Or questions like,

· “Will my ex miss me during no contact?”

· “If I go months of no contact, is there a good chance my ex will eventually come back if they start to miss me?” 

The answer to this is a big yes.

You know the saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” right? Well, that is true. When something is absent from your heart or presence, you tend to miss it. In this case, when you give your ex space and stay silent for a while, they will definitely miss you.

Look at this: how will your ex start to miss you when you are in constant contact with them, to the point it might feel like you’re smothering them with your presence and attention? Eventually, your ex would back off.

This is why the rule of no contact is pretty popular as the best way to make your ex miss you enough.

Does No Contact Increase the Chances of an Ex Missing You?

While the main purpose of the no contact rule is to foster healing and growth, it can also make your ex miss you.

Here’s how

1. When Your Ex Feels Your Absence

When you suddenly pull back and cut off contact with your ex, they will start to feel like something is missing. Even if you badgered them with calls or texts and they got tired, when you suddenly stop, your ex will miss that feeling.

This feeling can lead to them missing you. They may begin to romanticize the past and reminisce about the positive aspects of the relationship.

2. Curiosity and Intrigue

Humans are naturally curious beings. When you go no contact with your ex, they will be curious about the sudden lack of communication.

If you are someone who constantly contacts your ex, when you stop, your ex may wonder about your well-being and what you’re up to.

This curiosity can get your ex to miss you and prompt them to reach out. This is why it has always been said that the period of no contact is the best way to get your ex to miss you and want to reconnect.

Interpreting Mixed Signals from Your Ex

Sometimes, the signals you feel you are getting from your ex might not be what you think it is. You see, getting mixed signals from your ex is very easy. Some do it to rile you up, while others do it unknowingly. These mixed signals you keep getting can make the breakup tough and make moving on tougher.

This is why, even though you can’t control what your ex does or the signals they send, you can control how you react and respond.

Here are some mixed signals you can get from your ex that suggest that they still miss you but are not sure if they want to get back or reconnect with you

1. When They Tell You They Miss you But Don’t Follow Up on That

Saying I miss you is one thing; showing it is another thing. You know, action speaks louder than words.

When your ex tells you they miss you and do nothing about it, it could mean two things.

1. They mean it but don’t know what to do about it as in their heart, they are 80% not sure if they want to reconnect with you

2. They are out to hurt you. This is the plain truth. Many exes say I miss you and when they have gotten your hopes up, they suddenly withdraw, bursting your happy bubble.

In cases like this, the best thing to do is feel less giddy when your ex says they miss you. Take it with a grain of salt. Even if you are happy, be happy on the inside; don’t let them know you are all excited that they miss you. 

Be neutral to the “I miss yous” and only believe them if they follow through with their actions.

Also, do not immediately react when your ex says I miss you.

2. When They Like and Comment on Social Media

Many become very giddy when their ex likes or comments on their social media posts. They suddenly believe their ex still misses them but cannot talk to them yet, so they are looking at their social media page.

However, it is important to note that it might not mean a thing. It just might be that your picture or post is really good, and it won’t be fair if they don’t like or comment. On the other hand, it might be true that they miss you but cannot talk to you yet, so they like and comment on your posts.

In a situation like this, treat it like a regular thing. Like a stranger liked and commented on your post. (This advice is for both scenarios.)

If you are one to comment back with a particular word, phrase, or emoji when someone leaves a comment on your post, do the same to your ex’s comment.

3. Constant Reminiscing of the past

If your ex constantly talks about the memories you both shared, particularly focusing on what you did (mainly the good and meaningful ones), these may be signs that they miss you. They’re saying these to you can make your heart race again and bring back the feelings you once had for them and the relationship. But the question is, do they want to experience that again?

To find out, you could ask, jokingly or seriously, “Would you like to experience that with me again?” How they respond is your answer to the signal they have been giving you all these while.

Strategies to Rekindle Interest if You Miss Them Too

If you also miss your ex and believe there is a chance you both can reconcile, then go for it. Take the shot.  Here are strategies to rekindle your ex’s interest and get them to reconcile or make up with you.

· Focus on yourself. Take on something new. Something different. Something that improves you. This can be a good conversation starter.

· Reestablish contact with your ex. Start slow. Do not make the mistake of going in hard or fast. Don’t rush the process. They should not even suspect a thing.

· Act and be casual when talking to your ex. Don’t gush or be all over them. Be neutral and laidback.

·  Set up a lunch or coffee meet-up.

· Remind your ex of happy times. Don’t dive headfirst into it. You can throw it in between conversations. Ensure it is something that will either make them laugh or want to talk about

· Be the person your ex fell in love with

When to Move On: Recognizing It’s Over

One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is moving on. It doesn’t matter if you initiated the breakup; it is emotionally challenging. And when you miss that person, it is way hard because your heart, mind, and body are still consumed or ingrained with the thought of that person.

However, you need to understand that although missing your ex is okay, there are times you need to recognize when it is time for you to stop pinning yourself down for more hurt, heartache, and emotional pain.

One question many ask is, “How will I know it’s over?” Or “How will I know it’s time to move on?”

You see, the signs are always there. They are always glaring, but we often choose to ignore or overlook them because we don’t want to accept reality.

Here are some reflective signs that it shows might be time to move on, especially if the signs are glaring enough to show that your ex has moved on.

1. Lack of Communication 

If you and your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend usually talk frequently, but over time, you notice it has dwindled or come to a complete halt, or you are the one who is always pushing and driving the conversation, then it may be a sign that they have moved on – emotionally and physically.

This means that at this juncture, it is time for you to do the same. Constantly reaching out and getting little to no response can be emotionally draining and exhausting.

2. Indifferent or Hostility Towards You

When you talk to a person, you know whether they are interested in the conversation by how they respond. In this case, when you talk to your ex and notice a change in their demeanor or response towards you, such as indifference or hostility, it’s a sign from the universe that you need to step back and let go.

That change indicates that they no longer want to hear what you have to say or are tired of conversing with you. Basically, instead of saying it outright, they’ll play the “Action will speak louder than words” card, expecting you to take the hint.

So, take the hint that your ex doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and move on.

3. They are in a New Relationship

When your ex is in a new relationship, the signs are sure to be there – glaring brightly. All that matters is that you accept it and move on. Your ex has moved past the relationship, so you have to do the same.

Yes, it will be painful and hurtful, especially if you are holding onto the hope of getting back together with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. However, this should be a big wake-up call for you to move on.

4. Lack of Effort to Reconnect

If your ex shows little to no effort in reconnecting or reconciling with you despite your efforts, then it’s a sign they are no longer interested in fixing the relationship, maybe not even in the friend zone line.

As a result, when you find yourself in this situation, just move on. Holding on may make you seem desperate or prolong the pain you are feeling.

Conclusion: Embracing Whatever Comes Next

If you are finding it difficult to get the answers to whether your ex is missing you or not, and it’s messing with your heart and emotions, you need to pause and take a breather.

Make peace with yourself and with the situation. Knowing if your ex is missing you does not change anything. It does not increase the chances that you will get your ex back or reconnect with them.

Finding peace with the fact that whether your ex is missing you or not, you will move on. Believe it, after any breakup, finding peace with your current situation is key to moving forward and finding happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Whether it leads to reconciliation with your ex or you move forward independently, embrace whatever comes next. Sometimes, these changes or the fact that you have moved on will make your ex miss you.

However, remember, the past is in the past. They are your ex for a reason. If you will get your ex back, let it happen naturally.

Additional Resources:

  1. “Discover the subtle signs your ex is testing your boundaries.”
  2. “Unravel the reasons behind why your ex keeps tabs on you.”
  3. Navigate the confusing signals your ex might be sending post-breakup.”
  4. “Recognize the signs indicating your ex’s true intentions: just physical intimacy?”
  5. “Explore the dilemma of seeing your ex with someone entirely different from you.”
  6. “Learn to identify if your ex is rebounding into a new relationship.”
  7. “Understand the signs indicating your ex may never reconcile with you.”
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About Alex

Alex Bert is an esteemed relationship coach with a specialization in marital counseling. With over 14 years of experience, Alex and his team have developed multi-lingual online programs that have positively impacted over 180,000 individuals globally. His approach, known for its effectiveness and often counterintuitive advice, is grounded in extensive real-world experience rather than theory. 

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