How to Get Your Ex Back When You Live Together

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It is one thing for you and your ex to break up and go your separate ways, and it is another for you to break up and still live with your ex. It is a well-known fact that reconciling with an ex while apart is a challenging endeavor on its own; now, think about how hard it will be when you are living under one roof. When with every waking moment, you would have to be reminded that you both aren’t together while still together. You’re constantly reminded of the memories you shared, yet there’s tension and a minefield of emotions in the air, knowing things aren’t the same anymore. 

You won’t be able to use the no-contact rule (one of the key factors to aid reconciliation) to heal and let go because, since you live in the same house, more often than not, you will see and speak to your ex regularly when your paths cross. Constantly seeing your ex will remind you of the reason behind the breakup and the pain behind it, thereby hindering your healing process.

However, now you know you want to get your ex back, but when you think about it, it seems like an uphill battle, right? Well, while it might be challenging, there are ways to go about it. One important thing you need to know is that you need to navigate this delicate situation with care and respect for both of you. This shows that you are thinking about them while also thinking about you. You need to know that it is re-attractive in this kind of scenario. 

This article addresses the strategies you can apply to reconcile with your ex while living together and how to navigate some challenges you will face.

Is It Possible To Get Your Ex Back In This Situation?

Living with someone you have broken up with is tough because, let’s face it, you will constantly be reminded of the love you once shared, the laughs on the couch in front of the TV, the jokes, and all. Every nook and corner becomes a battleground of memories, both good and bad.

Now, having to transition from lovers to roommates is disheartening. The emotions involved are either like a minefield or a rollercoaster. You will feel a range of feelings and emotions – sadness, anger, longing, confusion, and maybe even hope. Many times, every interaction with each other will be so awkward, and you will walk around each other on eggshells. It will get to a point where it’s uncomfortable.

But the question is, “If it’s so awkward or uncomfortable, why put up with it?” “Why do couples find themselves in this situation?”

Rekindling Romance Under One Roof?

Living with an ex can be challenging, but it also provides a unique opportunity for rebuilding your relationship. If you’re looking for guidance on how to navigate this delicate situation and bring back the love, we’re here to support you.

Find Ways to Reconnect Get Expert Advice

Common Reasons Why People Still Live Together with Their Ex

1. Lease Agreement:

This is one of the many reasons why many ex-couples still live together post-breakup. When an apartment is taken, both sign a lease agreement, and to leave means breaking the lease agreement, which is hard to do or expensive to pay. So, the best solution is to continue living together until the lease agreement ends or a suitable arrangement can be made.

2. Financial Constraints

The cost of renting or owning a home is expensive, so living with an ex where the rent is split is the best option until they can afford to get their own place. 

3. Hope of Reconciliation

In many cases, this is one of the significant reasons why many couples still live together – holding onto the hope that while still under the same roof, they can reconcile. They believe being in the same space after the breakup will somehow reignite that spark and give them a chance to work things out.

4. Shared Responsibilities

A perfect example of this is when they have kids together. Couples may decide to live together for the sake of their kids or if both of them are still adjusting to having kids (if it is still an infant). They decide to stay together to share the responsibility for the kids. This sometimes works for pets also.

Strategies To Get You Ex Back When You Still Live Together:

1. Respect Their Space

You want to get him back, that is certain, but don’t be too pushy about it. Give them space. If they ask for space, respect it. If you see them giving you distance, respect it. They are going through the breakup, just as you are; only this time, you are the one who wants them back. They are still trying to navigate their feelings, heal, and emotionally and mentally get back on their feet. You being pushy or forcing interactions will only drive them farther away.

In situations like this, you have to recognize the importance of personal space in the healing process. Avoid invading their privacy because, let’s face it, if the tables are turned, you will not like your privacy being invaded. Give them space and let them breathe and process their feelings.

Sometimes, make your ex take the first step when they are ready to talk or spend time with you.

2. Improve Yourself

Use this time to focus on yourself. This is normally something that is done when you use the no-contact rule; however, without the no-contact period, you can still focus on yourself. Improve yourself and reflect on personal growth. 

Those parts or aspects that directly or indirectly contributed to the breakup, reflect and work on them. For instance, if one of the reasons you broke up is because you are emotionally unavailable, work on that. Try to show more concern or emotional availability in certain matters. 

By reflecting, working on your flaws (such as communication issues, insecurities, anger issues, etc), and improving yourself, you are showing your ex that you are committed to being a better person when you win back your ex. In a way, you might be laying the foundation for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship when you get her back.

3. Maintain a Positive, Friendly Dynamic

This can be hard since it is well-known that every breakup, amicable or not, results in hard feelings. It is very easy to become hostile to your ex post-breakup. But, if you know you want to get back together, you have to change the unfriendly, hostile, awkward, and negative dynamic to a positive, friendly one.

Treat your ex with kindness and respect as you would a roommate. It doesn’t matter if you initiated the breakup; be polite and friendly. You could engage in non-romantic and platonic conversations and activities, such as watching movies you used to watch together every time, going on walks, or sharing a meal. 

These interactions build a positive atmosphere and can help you re-attract your ex without the pressure of romantic expectations. 

Explore how to get you ex back when you work together.

4. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Have open and honest conversations with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. This is extremely important in the reconciliation process and winning your ex. Talk about the living conditions and any boundaries that need to be set. 

Also, don’t just do the talking; listen also. Listen attentively to your ex’s concerns, ideas, and perspective. Ensure you discuss matters like bills, living arrangements, chore sharing, and other responsibilities without being bossy or, commanding and bitter.

5. Rekindle Romance Gradually

Here is where you begin to introduce a little bit of romance. You want to rekindle that fire of romance and love you once had; however, do it gradually. Sometimes, it could be subtle, sometimes, a little bit obvious, but not to the point you start giving mixed signals. Take it slow.

First, you could focus on rebuilding the friendship and trust they once had in you before moving into any full-on romantic reconciliation. However, you would want to make sure your ex is interested (i.e. your ex still loves you) or, at least, on the same page. So, look for signs your ex is interested in what you are doing before making romantic advances. If they are not, don’t push, get emotional, or be disappointed. If you want to work things out, respect their boundaries and pace. You can also continue rebuilding the friendship to make that stronger and maybe get a second chance.

6. Create Memorable, Positive Experiences Together

Another effective strategy is to create memorable and positive experiences together. Plan activities or outings that would make you spend time together and remind you both of the good times in your relationship. It could be watching your favorite movies, listening to and dancing to your favorite songs, using some old photos, or even a memory box to engage with sweet memories. 

One of the advantages of living together is that you are at an advantage in creating opportunities for you both to be together and share laughs, joy, and new memories.

7. Seek External Support if Needed

Do not be afraid or ashamed to seek external support if necessary. Consider going for couples counseling or mediation to address unresolved feelings or navigate the complexities of reconciliation. Sometimes, getting advice from a neutral third party, and a professional at that, can make all the difference in your getting back with your ex.

Also, lean on personal support networks such as your friends, family, or a support group for emotional support and guidance. Note: Don’t just pick anyone. Choose people you trust and you know will be able to support you during this time.

How long does it takes to get ex back? Check in new article.

Navigating Challenges

When it comes to wanting to get together with an ex, there are some setbacks and discomfort you are bound to experience. This includes jealousy or seeing your ex start to move on. 

It is common to experience hurt, jealousy, or sadness when you see your ex starting to move on, whether it’s your ex starts dating someone else or simply enjoying their life without you. However, you should not let it affect you too much. You need to know how to handle such setbacks and discomforts.

Some ways to handle these challenges include::

  • Focus on redirecting your energy toward yourself, healing, emotion, and growth instead of dwelling on jealousy and letting it consume you. Focus on your own interests. Pursue activities that bring you joy. Move on in your own kind of way even if you live together. 
  • During an emotionally turbulent time, you need to find a healthy outlet. Find something that can help you process and get in tune with your emotions. It could be through journaling, talking to friends and family, exercising, or talking to a counselor or therapist.
  • Do the things that make you happy and can help put you at ease. Although you are trying to get back with your ex to build a future together, it should not be at the expense of your emotional and mental health. 

Take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself isn’t you being selfish – it is you loving yourself. It is important to your overall happiness and resilience. Sometimes, it is a building block for reconciliation.

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When it comes to getting your ex back, whether living together or not, you need to know that it takes time because reconciliation is a process. A process that requires patience, understanding, and mutual respect. When these three things are in place and in play, you will be able to get your ex back.

However, there are some times when it pays to pull the plug on it and go your separate ways, even while living together. It is important to note that not all relationships will be or are meant to be revived. Sometimes, moving on separately may be the best and healthiest outcome for you and your ex.

Regardless of the outcome, do not neglect your well-being. Have the mindset that you loved and were loved, and you will always be loved. What is yours will surely come back to you.

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About Alex

Alex Bert is an esteemed relationship coach with a specialization in marital counseling. With over 14 years of experience, Alex and his team have developed multi-lingual online programs that have positively impacted over 180,000 individuals globally. His approach, known for its effectiveness and often counterintuitive advice, is grounded in extensive real-world experience rather than theory. 

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