Reaching Out To An Ex After a Breakup: 8 Dos and Don’ts for Talk To Your Ex

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Reaching Out To An Ex After a Breakup

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Breaking up is never easy, but the pain of losing the one you love can be unbearable. You’re left with a void in your heart, wondering if there’s any chance to get him back. The good news is, there is hope. With the right approach and mindset, you can reach out to your ex girlfriend and start rebuilding your relationship. But before you hit send on that text, it’s crucial to understand the dos and don’ts of trying to talk to your ex.

Dos for Contacting an Ex – Winning Back Their Heart with Proven Strategies

You’re desperate to reconnect with your ex, the one who got away. Your heart aches for they, and you know deep down that she’s your soulmate. But before you hit send on that text, STOP. Take a deep breath and listen up.

Do think before you text: Understanding the Importance of Talking to Your Ex After a Breakup

Many person make the mistake of rushing in without a plan, letting their emotions take over. They bombard their ex with calls, texts, and grand gestures, hoping to get back into a relationship through sheer force of will. But this approach is doomed to fail. It reeks of desperation and pushes they even further away.

Do be clear about your intentions: How to Start a Conversation and Get Back Together

To have any chance of getting your ex back, you need to be strategic and play it cool. The first step is to think before you text or contact your ex. What do you really want to say? What’s your end goal? Having a clear purpose will help you craft a message that actually resonates with them, instead of one that just screams “I’m lost without you!”

Do Be empathetic and Respectful: How to Talk to Your Ex

When you do reach out to speak to your ex, be crystal clear about your intentions. If you want to apologize for your role in the breakup, say so directly. If you want to grab coffee and catch up, make that obvious. Don’t beat around the bush or play games. Being upfront shows that you respect they time and feelings. It also prevents any misunderstandings that could tank your chances of reconciliation.

Get Ex Back: Do Consider the Timing and Context

Put yourself in her/his shoes for a minute. They probably feeling hurt, angry, and confused right now after months of no contact. The last thing she needs is for you to come charging in, demanding another chance. Instead, show some empathy and understanding. Acknowledge their pain and validate emotions, even if you see things differently. By creating a safe, compassionate space for communication, you open the door to healing and reconnection.

But don’t just fire off a message whenever the mood strikes. Timing is key when you’re trying to re-establish contact with your ex. You want to reach out when she’s most likely to be receptive, not when she’s stressed out at work or dead tired at midnight. Take a second to consider what’s going on in their life and choose your moment wisely.

Above all, keep those feelings of desperation on lockdown. I know you miss like crazy and would do anything to have they back. But if you let that neediness show through via text, it’s game over. She’ll sense that you’re not in control of yourself or the situation, and that’s a massive turn-off. Play it cool, even if you’re dying inside.

They’re not always easy, and there are no guarantees. But if you can master the art of having a conversation with your ex the right way, you’ll maximize your chances of winning their heart again and figuring out how to talk to they productively. So take a deep breath, focus on your goal, and reach out with confidence to show your ex that you’ve changed. You’ve got this.

Remember, chances are your ex doesn’t want to get back together or remain friends right now. It’s never easy to approach an ex after a breakup, especially if you’re looking to rekindle that old flame. But if you follow this advice and take things slow, you’ll be able to let your ex know that you’ve been able to reflect and grow. Even if your ex’s initial reaction isn’t what you hoped, stay strong. With some patience and the right words, you can gradually give your ex a new perspective and help your ex see the amazing man you’ve become. Who knows – that next text to your ex might just be the start of a beautiful new chapter together.

Don’ts For Contacting Your Ex: Reconnecting After Time Has Passed

Focus on being the kind of man she would want to come back to – confident, compassionate, and self-assured. Let they see the positive changes you’ve made in your life, but don’t shove them in they face or demand recognition. Simply live authentically and have faith that if it’s meant to be, they will return to you when the time is right.

Don’t Reach Out for Selfish Reasons: Current Relationship Status

It’s natural to miss your ex and crave their attention, but reaching out solely to satisfy your own needs is a recipe for disaster. Avoid contacting they out of loneliness, boredom, or a desire for validation. Instead, focus on how your communication can benefit both of you. If you’re not ready to have a mature, productive conversation, it’s best to wait until you are. Remember the contact rule during this initiate contact period.


I understand it’s hard, my friend. You long for them, wishing for nothing more than to hear their voice once more. However, acting on these urges impulsively, without a strategy, might only distance them further. They need to recognize your growth, to see that you’re no longer the same person they decided to leave. Demonstrate your strength and independence, even when it feels like your world is falling apart without them

Take this time to focus on yourself, to become the best version of you possible. Hit the gym, learn a new skill, hang out with friends who lift you up. When you do reach out to talk to your ex, let it be from a place of genuine care and concern for well-being, not just a desperate attempt to ease your own pain. She’ll sense the difference, and it will make all the difference in how she responds.

Don’t expect immediate responses or specific outcomes

When you initiate and reach out to your ex, it’s important to manage your expectations. She may need time to process emotions and formulate a response, so don’t pressure they for an immediate reply. Be patient and understanding, even if it’s difficult. Remember that she’s not obligated to respond at all, and prepare yourself for that possibility, even if it’s hurtful.

I’ve been there. Staring at your phone, willing it to light up with their name. Refreshing your email every five seconds, hoping for a glimmer of hope after you start a new round of texting. But the truth is, you can’t control how she reacts, or when. All you can control is your own behavior and mindset.

So instead of agonizing over they response (or lack thereof), focus on living your best life. Keep yourself busy with activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with positive people who support your growth. And most importantly, don’t let your happiness hinge on they decision. You are worthy of love and respect, with or without ex in your life.

Don’t bring up past issues or arguments: Via Text or In Person

Rehashing old conflicts or pointing fingers will only reopen old wounds and create more tension between you. Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present and future. If there are issues that need to be addressed, do it calmly and objectively, without assigning blame or making accusations. The goal is to have a positive, constructive conversation that brings you closer together and might be the best for a new relationship, especially if you have children together.

Listen, I get it. Those unresolved arguments and hurt feelings are still fresh in your mind. You want to lay it all out on the table, make ex see how much she hurt you. But trust me, that approach will backfire faster than you can say “I’m sorry.” Avoid bringing it up.

Your ex is not your therapist or your punching bag. She doesn’t want or need to say to rehash every fight or relive every painful moment. What she wants is to see that you’ve learned from the past and are ready to move forward as a better man. So when you do want to meet up and talk, keep things light and positive. Focus on the good times you shared, the qualities you admire in each other. Show her that you’re capable of having a mature, adult conversation without dredging up the past.

Don’t ignore boundaries or push for reconciliation

If your ex has communicated a need for space or a desire to move on, it’s crucial to honor their wishes. Disregarding their boundaries or pressuring them for a reunion will only drive them further away, jeopardizing any potential for future reconciliation. Allow them the necessary time and space to heal and work through their feelings. Should they be receptive to communication, let interactions unfold organically without imposing any pressure.

This is arguably the hardest part, my friend. When all you want is to hold in your arms and never let go, giving space can feel like torture. But as the saying goes, “If you love something, set it free.”

Your ex is not a possession to be won or a prize to be claimed. She is a human being with own thoughts, feelings, and decisions. If you truly care for your ex and want to make your ex yours again, you’ll respect autonomy and trust that what’s meant to be will be. Have faith in the changes you’ve made and the connection you share. With patience, understanding, and genuine growth, you can rebuild that bond and create an even stronger relationship than before. Just remember, it all starts with respecting ex boundaries and being the man she deserves.

Reason Why You Broke: Why Is Talk To An ex So Important?

Let’s talk about why communication with your ex-partner is so damn important, especially if you want to get back together and give the relationship another shot. I know it’s tough after a breakup, especially if it happened less than a month ago, and you probably want to pour your heart out right away. But hold up, take a step back and make sure you’re in the right headspace first.

See, when you do reach out, you want to be strong enough to really listen to what your ex is saying, even if it stings a bit. This shows your ex that you’re not just a ball of bitterness, but you genuinely care about understanding their perspective. If you can keep your cool and show your ex that you’re more attentive now, that’s a huge step in proving that you’re ready to meet their needs and improve the odds in your favor of getting back the love of your life.

But the thing, when you do start a conversation again, you can’t just dive into the reason why you broke up or your current relationship status. It’s best to avoid talking about or rehashing old wounds from your past relationship, especially in the beginning post-breakup period. The goal is to ease back into communication, not jump right back into the heavy stuff that will only reopen those painful memories of how the relationship ended.

So, take your time, work on yourself, and when you feel ready after some time has passed, reach out with an open heart and mind. But don’t directly state that you are looking to get back together, at least not at first. Show your ex that you’re not just trying to win them back, but that you truly value their thoughts and feelings. Focusing on having a positive interaction means a lot. Trust the process, my friend, and with a little patience and understanding, you might just find yourself rebuilding that connection you thought was lost.

Initiate a Conversation with Your Ex The Right Way: Conclusion

Reaching out to your ex 3 months after a breakup can be a daunting task, but by following these dos and don’ts, you can increase your chances of a positive outcome and potentially getting back together. Remember to think before you ask to get back together, be clear about your intentions, and approach your ex with empathy and respect. Avoid reaching out for selfish reasons, expecting immediate responses, or bringing up details of how they broke up with you 3 months ago. Most importantly, respect their boundaries and give them the space they need to heal.

Whether you’re able to rekindle your relationship or simply establish a friendly rapport, the key is to maintain open, honest communication. By showing your ex that you care about their well-being and are willing to put in the work to improve yourself, you lay the foundation for a stronger, healthier connection.

So take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and reach out to your ex with an open heart and mind. With patience, understanding, and a commitment to growth, you may find that the love you once shared can be transformed into something even more beautiful and resilient. Even if you won’t be able to meet in person right away, simply wanting to have a positive relationship again is an important step.

If you want to discuss or open up about how much they mean to you, think that the best way is to let things develop slowly and naturally. Trying something new like a period of no-contact before easing back in can be an effective strategy to make them feel more open to you again. The most important thing is to avoid pouring salt on old wounds and instead focus on showing them through your actions that this time can be different and you are committed to building something good together. Have faith – your soulmate connection is still there, even if it takes some time and care to nurture it back to life after a breakup.

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About Alex

Alex Bert is an esteemed relationship coach with a specialization in marital counseling. With over 14 years of experience, Alex and his team have developed multi-lingual online programs that have positively impacted over 180,000 individuals globally. His approach, known for its effectiveness and often counterintuitive advice, is grounded in extensive real-world experience rather than theory. 

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