To Block or Not to Block: Mastering Post-Breakup Communication for Potential Reconciliation

Should I Block My Ex

Table of Content

Introduction: The Dilemma of Blocking an Ex

One of the heartbreaking things to hear from someone you love is, “It’s over,” or “Let’s break up.” Aside from hearing it, accepting it is extremely hard, but not as trying to heal and move on but every single thing you’ve tried is futile. 

Even if you are the one who initiated the break-up, you will definitely be shaken up, because let’s face it, regardless of it you loved that person or not, you had an emotional connection with that person that would be hard to let go of everything. This is where the question of, “Should I or should I not block my ex” comes in.

There are so many answers to this, but first you need to ask yourself, 

  • “Am I okay with seeing my ex on social media?”
  • “Am I angry, hurt, happy, sad, or all emotions combined when I see them on social media or go through their messages?”
  • “Will blocking really give me what I want?”
  • “Is there a chance we would get back together?”

Asking yourself these questions can help you emotionally and practically consider if blocking your ex is the right thing for you.

To many, blocking your ex might be childish, petty, excessive, or cruel, but one thing you know is that you are the one going through the feelings of the breakup. Only you understand how you feel and if doing what you want or have to do will help you heal. Because, ultimately, it is ALL about YOU.

Continue reading this guide to help you decide if to block or not to block is the answer you need, especially to master post-breakup communication.

Wondering why your ex is ignoring you? Find answers in this article: Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me?

Understanding the Impulse to Block

There are so many reasons why the impulse to block an ex is so strong. However, for this, we will look at the three biggest reasons.

You Need to Heal Emotionally

One of the biggest reasons for blocking is the great need to heal emotionally.

No matter how much to downplay that your breakup hurt you, whether you initiated it or not, your heart and mind know it’s hurting. This is because even if it’s fresh or a few days or weeks old, they know that something is missing and will be missing for a long time. They will feel the loss of something they are attached to or used to and that can mess with your emotions, especially if you still see what they have been up to or who they speak to.

This is where the blocking impulse comes in. Blocking forces your mind and heart to let go of the tightly held-on reins and give yourself the space and time you need to heal your emotions. By blocking, the triggers that remind you of that person or past relationship are cut short or off.

To Avoid Triggers

After a breakup, so many things can trigger the feeling of longing, loss, love, and many more. These could include memories, messages, and social media activities. Although memories are one of the biggest triggers, the second runner-up is social media. Because you constantly get notifications about the person’s activities on their social media accounts and you see their posts, it becomes a trigger that sends you on an ultimate meltdown.

As a result, to avoid this trigger, blocking became one of the best ways to shut it down. By blocking, you have a 0.0001 percent chance of knowing what goes on in their social media accounts. This gives you the chance to breathe, clear your head and heart, and focus on healing.

You Need Closure

One thing about every breakup is the need to get closure. When your ex breaks up with you, letting go can be extremely difficult because there is something that reminds you about your ex. It could be pictures, items, your ex’s number, Facebook or any social media accounts, coffee spots, etc. These forms of connections make moving on a really difficult task.

This is why the need to get closure is important. Many believe that deleting pictures or returning items is the best way to get them, however, that is one way. One of the best ways to end the story is by blocking. Blocking your ex gives you the space you need to completely let go, close off unwanted advances, and let your heart heal.

In many cases, even if you initiated the breakup, you still need closure. It may have been easy for you to let go, but it’s not the same for your ex. They keep calling to try to win you back, messaging you, asking your friends about you, etc. At first, you try to talk to them, telling them that it’s over, but they don’t get the message. With this, it’s best to block them.

This may come off as you being cruel, but on the contrary, it doesn’t mean you’re cruel. Blocking your ex is the best way to tell them that going back to the relationship is not possible. This sends a big message to your ex that the relationship is over, and as much as it gives you closure, it can also be a way for them to get the closure they need and move on.

In additional:

Contemplating Blocking Your Ex?

Deciding whether to block an ex is a personal and sometimes difficult choice. If you’re looking for advice on what to do next and how to handle the situation, let us assist you in finding clarity and peace of mind.

Get Guidance Now Explore Your Options

10 Compelling Reasons to Block Your Ex

There are so many reasons you should block your ex, but here are 10 compelling reasons to immediately do so.

1. You Can’t Stop Yourself from Reaching Out

This is one thing highly common about breakups. Even after the breakup, you still miss your ex and in a moment of vulnerability and temptation, you reach out with an, “Hey, I just want to check up on you,” or “I miss you!” or “Can we work this out? I feel empty without you,” or worse, you might even send a drunk message, voicemail, or call that would probably leave you embarrassed or humiliated the following day. The best way to avoid this is by blocking them.

Blocking is one of the best ways to avoid reaching out to your ex. On the bright side, when they are blocked and you do have a drunken episode and you send a message to your ex, you can rest assured that they will not get it. It is like a measure of security.

2. Avoiding Psychological Abuse

Your ex knows what to do to get you worked up, especially if he/she knows you still look them up on social media, get notifications about them, get and read their messages, or have some form of attachment to them. It could be a simple, “Hi, I am just messaging to see if you are fine,” or “Hey, how are you holding up after all these? I want you to know I am still here for you,” when you know in your heart of hearts that they are not. 

Some might go as far as posting content that involves or relates to you without mentioning your name in an attempt to provoke you, while others decide to go the manipulative and guilt-tripping way.

All these are mind games to suck you back in and maybe leave you high and dry. Basically, these affect you mentally.

If you are a victim of this or just want to avoid this, press the block button. This is the best way to avoid getting messages or notifications about them and save yourself from psychological abuses that are done indirectly.

3. You are Curious about What they are Up to and Need to End that Curiosity

You know curiosity is what killed the cat, right? And if you aren’t careful, it could kill you. Being curious about your ex’s post-breakup activities is a recipe for more hurt and recovery setbacks. 

Constantly scrolling through their post on social media to get an idea of what they are up to will hurt you more because there is a high chance you will see signs of them having moved on while you are still being curious about them and what they are up to.

As a result, the best way to end it and move on is by blocking. The less you look, the less you see. Saving your mental health and yourself a world of hurt should be a compelling reason for you to hit that ‘block’ button.

4. You Want to Create a Peaceful Life for Yourself

Self-love is the best love and when you take care of yourself and your mental health, you have inner and outer peace. You’re comfortable. Blocking your ex after a breakup, especially if it is messy or is still fresh, gives you the time, space, and energy needed to heal.

5. They are Stalking You

You don’t have to be told twice to press “block” when your ex is stalking you. This is a reason that is compelling enough. It is important to note that stalking doesn’t just mean someone following you around and harassing you in person. It can also be done online. 

If your ex is trying to contact you, leave likes or comments on your posts (positive or negative) when you wish they didn’t or is harassing you with calls and making threats, that is stalking. As a result, do not hesitate to cut them off by blocking them. If blocking them does not work, contact the authorities. 

6. You Can’t Move On

Moving on after a breakup is hard because, let’s face it; this is a person you loved deeply and you both breaking up takes a mental toll on you. Every day, all you want is for you both to come back together. All you do is keep thinking and talking about them. You don’t see yourself as someone’s. You miss them.

However, deep down, you know the relationship is over. You know it’s time to move on. But, your heart and soul still crave that person, and at the end of the day, you get the pain of loneliness, longing, and sadness. Although it can be hard and painful, you need a clean break, and one of the best ways to do that is what having your ex blocked does.

Blocking every contact with your ex is a step towards moving on because the blocking forces your body, mind, and spirit to let go.

Contemplating whether to reach out to your ex? Explore insights in this article: Should I Reach Out to My Ex?

7. Your partner cheated 

Just as there is no point in staying with a cheating ex, so also it is pointless to have their details or social media channels still on your phone. They broke your trust and you just want space and time to heal. One way to get that? Block them.

It doesn’t matter if you both would come back to talk about it. But as of that moment, block them until you are in a better position to evaluate the relationship and move forward or finally ready to let go.

8. You need time to heal

You need to understand that you need time to heal and healing is a “me-time.” This is especially so if you just got out of an abusive relationship (mental, verbal, or physical), or the breakup is still fresh.  You need time to heal. Be selfish and put yourself first, and the first thing you need to do is block them.

You see, blocking your ex is one way to gain your power and freedom back. It is the first step to locking them out of your head and to work on healing your heart. It’s easy. If for any reason you want to work it out with them again, you need to heal first and become stronger to go back to them. Therefore, blocking to give yourself time to heal is essential.

9. When you are in a New Relationship

When you are in a new and certified relationship, block your ex. Having his/her contact on your phone even if you both haven’t talked for ages can be hurtful or fishy to your new partner. They’ll probably feel a little bit threatened or less trusting, even if they are mature about it. So to avoid this what’s best is to hit “block.”

10. Block Them Before They Block You

Being the first to do something to your ex before they do it to you is extremely satisfying. It can make you feel good. Therefore, be the first to block them. It might be hurtful but it is extremely necessary and satisfying. This tells your ex that you were the one to end all forms of social communication and have finally let go. 

Don’t let anyone tell you that you are being petty for doing that. You are not. Don’t give your ex the satisfaction of hurting you a second time.

Curious about what to do when your ex has blocked you? Discover insights in this article: My Ex Blocked Me

The Other Side: Reasons Against Blocking

Here are some reasons why you should not block your ex.

1. If It Was a Mutual and Clean Breakup

If you and your ex parted ways on good terms; that is, you both agreed to end the relationship because you figured out that things are not working out between you both and you would be better off being mutual friends (or not), and can handle seeing their social media activities, then you shouldn’t block your ex.

2. Keeping the Communication Lines Open for Reconciliation

If you are still hopeful that there is a chance you and your ex will come back together or that they’ll reach out to you for reconciliation, then don’t block.

Also, if the break is temporary, where one of you or you both are taking time off to figure things out, then you should not block your ex. You’ll want to keep the line open for communication and reconciliation.

3. You Still Want to Maintain a Friendship with Them

Just because you and your ex broke up doesn’t mean either of you can’t still be good friends, or at least maintain the friendship you both had before you started dating. 

If you realize that you don’t want to lose them as a friend and are okay with where you both stand as platonic friends, then you can leave them unblocked.

Is Blocking an Act of Self-Care or Avoidance?

When you decide to block your ex, you make the decision to cut off any form of social contact with them. But the question is why? Are you doing it because you want to take care of yourself or because you are avoiding something you don’t want to encounter?

The answer to this lies in how the relationship ended and how you want to deal with your emotional needs. Note:

  • You are the only one who knows how you feel.
  • You are the only one who knows how strong you are to fully let go.
  • You are the only one who knows what the breakup took from you.

So, don’t feel guilty if you are blocking as a way of being avoidant. Also, be happy if you are blocking as an act of self-care. The most important thing is that you were strong enough to unfollow and block them out and begin a justifiable and courageous journey.

The Timing of the Block: When and Why?

One question many people ask is, “When is the right time to block my ex?” Or “Why do I have to block?” Here is the answer to this. Scenarios will be used to explain the when and why.

  • Scenario One:

If you have just gone through a painful breakup, either initiated or not, immediately block the person.

Reason: When you do that immediately, you are cutting off a form of connection to the pain. It is like a healing detox. Your mind, heart, and body are forced to immediately cut off from that person and any constant reminder of the past.

  • Scenario Two:

When you believe a reconciliation between you and your ex is possible or you can still be a part of their life one way or the other, you could delay in blocking.

Reason: This keeps the lines open for communication in case your ex wants to reach out to you, and the possibility of a romantic relationship happening again. 

  • Scenario Three:

When you have had the necessary conversation for closure or you don’t need to have any sort of conversation to get closure, you can decide whether to block immediately or wait.

Reason: After you have talked things out with your ex and already have the closure you need to move on, you can decide to block immediately or leave it unblocked. This is because all that needs to be said and done has been fulfilled and you can move on peacefully, allowing you to explore and embrace new things or relationships easily.

There are so many factors that affect when to block and the reason behind the block. What matters is that it is based on your decision and what you feel. Take into consideration your mental state of mind when deciding on when to block or not block your ex.

Curious about why your ex keeps checking up on you? Find answers in this article: Why Is My Ex Checking Up on Me?

The Potential for Reconciliation: To Block or Not

Should i block my ex after breakup? Before deciding to block or not block, you need to know the pros and cons of both to help you figure out which option is best for you. 

Pros of Blocking

  • You stop obsessing over your ex or their life on social media
  • It can prevent mind games and stalking
  • It forces you and your ex to move on
  • You get the time and space needed to think and heal emotionally
  • It reduces the chances of being exposed to emotional triggers
  • Sets clear boundaries and facilitates closure
  • Helps you avoid doing actions you may end up regretting

Cons of Blocking

  • It may be interpreted as being petty or childish
  • It could lead to missed opportunities for potential reconciliation
  • In some cases, you may not get the complete closure you need

Pros of Not Blocking

  • You keep the lines open for a potential reconciliation
  • You and your ex can still be friends
  • You show them that you have moved on and are in a better place

Cons of Not Blocking

  • You keep checking all of their social media activities which could end up causing you more hurt and anxiety
  • You might end up making regretful phone calls or sending embarrassing messages, especially when drunk.
  • You won’t be able to end the curiosity

The bottom line is that the decision lies with you. You are the master of your heart. You know your strengths and weaknesses. What matters is you do what suits you and will bring you the healing you crave and need.

Navigating No-Contact Periods: Blocking and its Implications

The no-contact period is a time whereby you deliberately ignore your ex either to make them miss you more or get rid of any bad feelings they may have towards you (you giving them space). On a personal note, it is a time for you to heal.

But the no-contact period can be challenging because you still have their contact information on your phone and you still have access to their social media accounts. It takes a special kind of power for you not to break the no-contact period and reach out to your ex. For a fact, the likelihood of breaking is 7/10.

So, the question is “How do you handle the no-contact periods?” Also, “Does Blocking Aid or Hinder the Process of the No-Contact Periods?”

Here are some tips and guidance needed on how to effectively handle no-contact periods

1. Understand the Purpose of the No-Contact Period

Before you embark on the journey of no-contact, clearly understand the purpose of why you are going the no-contact way. This helps to keep you going or from breaking the no-contact period. Better yet, you could set a time limit, something you know is within your strength and willpower to undertake. This keeps you focused on completing the periods successfully.

2. Ask Yourself If Blocking is What You Need

If you know not calling or sending them a message would be challenging for you during the no-contact period, block them. If you know they will not stop calling you, especially during the no-contact period, block them.

However, you need to ask yourself if this is what you want and if it is the right approach for you during the no-contact periods.

3. Communicate and Set Boundaries

If you and your ex are still on talking terms and you don’t want to block, tell the person you are going on a no-contact period. Clearly define with it is you need the no-contact period for and what happens when either of you defaults. On the other hand, you could tell the person you are temporarily blocking him/her because you want to go on a no-contact period. This helps in avoiding misunderstandings.

Discover the psychological effects and potential outcomes of the ‘30 Days No Contact Rule‘.

Social Media and Your Ex: A Digital Conundrum

One thing about social media is that it ALWAYS remembers, which makes moving on harder. For instance, you might get a Facebook o Instagram notification, congratulating you on a memory of you and your ex from a few months or years back, and this can affect your post-breakup self. This is why blocking on social media is highly essential.

Blocking your ex on social media is one of the first steps to emotional healing. In a way, it facilitates it. Once done, other things begin to fall into place, such as the creation of necessary boundaries, avoidance of emotional and psychological triggers, and the prevention of interactions or sights that could take a toll on your emotional well-being.

Concluding Thoughts: Making the Best Choice for You

Deciding to block your ex is a personal choice. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are immature or wrong for blocking or not blocking your ex. It is your life. You, and you alone are the one who knows the reason why you made that decision. So, irrespective of what anyone says, as long as it makes you comfortable and happy, stand by it.

Should I block my ex or just ignore him?

Deciding between blocking or ignoring your ex depends on your emotional state and the nature of your breakup. If merely ignoring his attempts at communication or presence on social media still leaves you feeling hurt, tempted to reach out, or hinders your healing process, then blocking may be a more effective step towards your emotional well-being. Blocking can help create the necessary space for healing by eliminating triggers and constant reminders of the past.

Should I block my avoidant ex?

Blocking an avoidant ex can be beneficial if their avoidance behavior triggers negative emotions or impedes your ability to move on. If the relationship’s end left you feeling unresolved or if the dynamic of avoidance continues to affect your mental health, blocking may help you regain control over your emotional recovery process. It provides a clear boundary, minimizing the emotional turmoil associated with waiting for or expecting communication that may never come.

Should I block my ex if I want her back?

Blocking an ex you hope to reconcile with can be counterproductive, as it shuts down a potential line of communication. However, if maintaining contact or constant reminders of her through social media are causing you pain or preventing you from focusing on your own growth, a temporary period of no contact, including blocking, might be beneficial. Use this time to reflect on yourself, the relationship, and any changes that need to be made. If after some time and personal development you still want to reconnect, consider unblocking and reaching out if you believe the relationship can be different moving forward. Remember, the focus should be on healing and self-improvement, whether or not reconciliation happens.

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About Alex

Alex Bert is an esteemed relationship coach with a specialization in marital counseling. With over 14 years of experience, Alex and his team have developed multi-lingual online programs that have positively impacted over 180,000 individuals globally. His approach, known for its effectiveness and often counterintuitive advice, is grounded in extensive real-world experience rather than theory. 

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