Why Your Ex is Ignoring You and How to Make Them Stop

How to Get Her Back? If You Have Already Tried Everything

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Although you and your ex have broken up, you still have feelings for your ex, and the thought or act of them ignoring you is enough to drive you out of your mind with confusion, hurt, pain, and a whole range of emotions.

After reading a few other articles on this topic, I found varying advice and caution against following certain prevalent advice.

You begin to wonder,

  • “Am I so easily forgotten and do they have someone new?”

  • “It’s all my fault he is ignoring me.”

  • “I know I messed up. I am the reason they’re ignoring me.”

Your brain, mind, and heart begin to go into overdrive, and you start overthinking, taking almost all the blame on yourself. However, you don’t need to feel that way. You need to know that the “ignorance technique” has the power to lead you to having unresolved thoughts and feelings.

Whether your ex initiated the breakup or not, you would feel like you got dumped all over again, this time in a silent and painful manner, especially when you keep wondering what your ex thinks about you or the number of years you both have spent together.

However, it is important to note that nothing is wrong with you. You need to understand that there is a reason behind every action, and there would be a reason for your ex ignoring you. What matters is understanding the reasons and finding ways to cope with this behavior, especially if you want to win your ex or still want to be friends.

Continue reading this guide to know more if you’re wondering why your ex is ignoring you and how to make them stop ignoring you.

It’s a tough decision to cut off communication after a breakup. If you’re in a dilemma about blocking your ex and need some guidance, we’re here to provide you with thoughtful advice.

Get Insightful AdviceSeek Expert Guidance

Is My Ex Ignoring Me A Good Sign?

There are so many reasons why your ex can choose to ignore you, but here are four common reasons:

  1. Imbalanced Dynamics: Giving all the power to one person in the relationship can lead to imbalanced dynamics. When one person holds all the control, it can result in a loss of respect and diminished attraction, ultimately affecting the chances of rekindling the relationship. This imbalance might be a reason your ex is ignoring you, as they may feel overwhelmed or disinterested due to the lack of mutual respect and equality.

  2. Emotional Overwhelm: Your ex might be feeling emotionally overwhelmed and needs time to process their feelings. Ignoring you could be their way of coping with the breakup and trying to move on.

  3. New Relationship: They might have moved on to a new relationship and are trying to focus on their new partner. Ignoring you helps them to establish boundaries and avoid any complications with their current relationship.

  4. Seeking Space: Sometimes, an ex might ignore you simply because they need space to heal and reflect on the relationship. This period of no contact can be crucial for both parties to gain clarity and perspective.

1. Emotional Avoidance

This is one of the most common reasons your ex might ignore you. They ignore you to avoid the emotions they will get when they think about you or see anything relating to you.

Your ex doesn’t want to let go of the fact that things have ended and are grappling with a myriad of emotions. In many cases, maybe they’re using the shield of silence to create a wall around their emotions, creating a distance so wide in an attempt to avoid pain, confusion, and anger. People might consciously grow scared and anxious when experiencing a loss of connection, such as in the case of a breakup, as the brain releases certain chemicals that trigger the feeling of needing to reconnect with loved ones to avoid the sense of impending danger.

2. You Keep Demanding Attention

You might not want to hear this, but you might be why your ex is ignoring you. After the breakup, your ex just wants some space, and when you keep calling, texting, or doing things to demand their attention during the time they need that space, you are compelling (or you’ve already compelled) them to get angry and ignore you more.

Many times, your intentions to reach out to your ex might be harmless, but they see it as a disturbance or attention-seeking, making them want to ignore you more. Emotional manipulation can also play a role here, as negative emotions and fear can make you feel as if you are being ignored, even if that may not be the case. This is not a good way to make your ex stop ignoring you.

3. They are Moving on or Have Moved on

One thing you need to acknowledge is that even if you did not initiate the breakup, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend just wants to move on. Understanding your ex’s feelings is crucial here, as they believe ignoring is the best way for them to move on. They have seen it as a coping mechanism for them to move on from the thought of you and the relationship you both shared.

Also, if they have moved on, they believe that still talking to you is unnecessary. For your ex’s mental health sake, the best thing to do is ignore you.

Unresolved Feelings and Emotional Baggage

Although the relationship has ended, that doesn’t mean the feelings have. Certainly, one out of the two of you is bound to still have lingering feelings for a very long time. In fact, many of these feelings are yet to be resolved.

Unresolved feelings can lead to emotional baggage that affects future relationships, making it difficult to move on and start afresh. As a result, your ex might be ignoring you because, after the breakup, they still have feelings or emotions that they are yet to resolve. They are yet to deal with their emotions. It could be regret, guilt, fear, or longing. Whatever it may be, ignoring you and maintaining distance seems like their safest option. “Learn what to text your ex after a period of no contact to initiate conversation.”“Explore the reasons behind why your ex won’t talk to you and how to address it.”

The Emotional Impact of Being Ignored

Honestly, no matter how much you try to downplay it, you’re hurt when your ex ignores you. It takes a big toll on your emotional and psychological well-being, often leading to extreme emotions and harmful emotions.

Seeing so many unread or read messages and unanswered calls can stay stuck in the corridors of your mind, making you question your self-worth and the validity of the past relationship.

You begin asking yourself, “Was I that bad that my ex keeps ignoring my texts and calls?” or “Did this person even love me to be able to ignore me in this manner?” “I wrote my ex a long text or letter and yet, it was read but not replied to.”

With these thoughts, you feel like your ex broke you again. You are not in the right frame of mind. You begin to feel things outside your control. One moment you are pissed; the next, you are sad; the next, you are numb. Everything becomes annoying. You have no inner peace. This continues until the person contacts you. Basically, it’s like your world lights up when your ex responds.

Feeling this way isn’t healthy. Some psychological effects of being ignored by your ex include

  • Obsessive thinking

  • Insecurities

  • Self-doubt

  • Psychological stress

  • Resentment

  • Hot and cold attitude

  • Confusion

  • Anger

  • Lack of self-love

  • Inability to properly heal or let go

Once you start experiencing these feelings, they affect how you live, act, and think, which won’t help you get your ex back.

Interpreting the Ignorance: Is My Ex Ignoring Me a Good Sign?

When your ex starts or is still ignoring you, one thing you try to do is understand or interpret what it means. But the more you try to interpret why your ex ignores you presently, the more perplexing it gets and the more lost you are in the sea of questions. Interpreting their actions can be particularly challenging due to irrational or extreme emotions that may cloud your judgment.

It is important to note that there are various meanings behind your ex ignoring you. To get the right one, you need to take a step back and carefully examine their actions, feelings, or state of mind. This might be challenging, but it must be done from a nuanced perspective to get the answer you need.

When you are being ignored, it might signify that ex will never

  • Your ex needs space to process their emotions

  • Your ex is trying to avoid unnecessary conflict

  • Your ex is still sensitive about the breakup

  • Your ex wants you to stop trying to reconnect

  • They are not in the right frame of mind to talk to you.

  • They are not ready to re-open their breakup wounds

  • Your ex likes you and is waiting for the right chance to rekindle things

  • They are trying to gauge how much you really want to talk to them. (This is called playing hard to get)

  • They do not want to talk to you anymore.

Understanding and coming to terms with your ex’s feelings or current state of mind can help you navigate the ignorance period to reconnect with your ex or let go.

Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me And How to Respond?

Knowing how to respond to being ignored is one of the most important things you need to understand. An ex girlfriend might ignore you for various reasons, such as still being hurt from the breakup, testing your efforts to contact her, or moving on with another girl. Here are three sure ways to respond to being ignored, especially if you want to get your ex to stop ignoring you.

Maintain Distance with Grace

Giving your ex the space they need is sometimes the best action. When your ex says (although indirectly), “I need space,” do it gracefully.

If your ex wants space and doesn’t want to contact you, leave them be. They may come around, and if they don’t, you can then decide to contact them after a while or believe that your ex is dating someone or has moved on. Your ex is your ex for a reason. 

Choose the Right Time to Reach Out

Immediately you figure out your ex is ignoring you, don’t start bombarding them with calls or messages about wanting to see and talk to them urgently. Many men and women get this way about someone who ignores them. However, this is a wrong move as you give your ex the extra push they need to distance themselves and make you feel like you don’t exist.

Instead, choose the right time to reach out to them. Don’t rush into wanting to reach out, as it could escalate things. Your ex will come back if they want to. On the other hand, don’t wait too long to reach out (if you want to). Try to find a balance in-between.

Wondering if you should reach out to your ex? This article on Should I Reach Out to My Ex? can help you decide.

Convey Your Feelings Effectively While Considering Your Ex’s Feelings

This is one aspect many get it all wrong. As soon as they are able to get in touch with their ex, the next thing is to begin the accusation spree. “Why are you ignoring me?” or “Are you too much of a chicken to confront me after the breakup?” or “So you saw my texts and calls and decided to ignore them?”

Doing this is wrong.  Even if you feel hurt when your ex is ignoring you, the best thing to do is to talk calmly and in a composed and clear manner. Ensure your message is honest. 

Uncover the strategies for successfully navigating the ‘30 Days No Contact Rule‘ and its aftermath.

Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me?

Is Ignoring a Sign of Indifference or Hidden Feelings?

On one hand, ignoring could be a sign of indifference (a conscious effort as a sign of moving on). Your ex might completely ignore you as a way to distance themselves from you to heal and break off any emotional ties they had with you and the past.

On the other hand, it could be a coping mechanism to hide any lingering or hidden feelings. These could be longing, regret, guilt, unspoken sentiments, etc. They ignore to keep themselves from releasing all those pent-up emotions and feelings.

Curious about why your ex is checking up on you? Get insights from this article: Why Is My Ex Checking Up on Me?.

The Role of No Contact in Being Ignored

When you are being ignored, everything in your mind and body screams, “Call until he/she picks up…” “Text until they respond.” However, this strategy is not worthy of who you are, especially for someone who ignores you presently and makes you feel invincible. To them, you would look like a desperate person who can’t take a hint.

You need to know that although being ignored hurts, you need to navigate it with a clear head. Although it might be challenging, doing it is one of the best ways to save yourself from further embarrassment. Some individuals have been ignored by their exes for about a year or longer, detailing experiences of reaching out multiple times, receiving short responses, or being completely ignored and even blocked on social networks after an initial period of silence.

Now you wonder, “How do I go about this?” Well, this is where the no-contact rule comes in. Implementing the no-contact rule is one of the strategies you can use to navigate the complexities of being ignored and get your ex to stop ignoring you. Statistically, it is one of the many ways women get their exes back.

Here are two big relevance of the role of NC while you’re being ignored.

1. Establishes Emotional and Mental Boundaries

With the no-contact rule, you hit the pause button to stop thinking about what your ex is doing to you or how the ignoring is making you feel. Basically, you do not make any form of contact with your ex.

During this period, you draw a line between yourself and your ex, establishing boundaries that allow you to emotionally and mentally process how you feel and how you need to let go of the feeling.

You can do this by acknowledging what you are feeling. You could say, “I know I’m feeling sad by being ignored by my ex, and I wish they’d stop ignoring me, but I know I have to pause and not contact them for a while.”

2. You Surprise Your Ex

When you stop messaging and calling your ex, they might be surprised and wonder what is going on.  

This time, instead of you chasing and being curious about them, giving them the no-contact makes them curious about you. In many cases, your ex would think you’ve moved on, making them rethink their feelings and choices (especially if they want to get back together with you).

Honestly, the fact that you are in no contact might affect your ex ten times more than their ignorance made you feel.

The bottom line is that the role of no-contact gives you a chance to take care of yourself and evaluate many things (get things within your control). It might also make your ex take a second look at you and the situation. What matters is how it is implemented and the intention behind the NC rule.

Wondering why your ex suddenly unblocked you on Instagram? Here are 10 possible reasons that might explain their change of heart.

Should You Ignore Back? Weighing the Pros and Cons

Here comes the feeling of sweet revenge. The time to act like your ex. This is where many scream, “It’s payback time! You ignore me; I ignore you.” Good one, right? Yeah, maybe. The surprising number of articles online about people also ignoring their exes who ignored them first are numerous. Some are positive, others, well, not so much.

However, in your case, the big question here is, “Would you be okay with the aftermath?” “How sure are you that you are not closing the door to something you’ve wanted?”

Before you also ignore your ex, check out these pros and cons. 

Pros

  • You get to focus on yourself and your needs

  • You might get the space you need to heal from your ex ignoring you

  • You might get your ex to notice you and your actions, and you might get a positive 100% return rate.

  • It might seem vengeful, but you get to make your ex feel what you felt when you were ignored.

Cons

  • You fail to resolve unresolved issues and concerns

  • You miss opportunities for reconciliation

  • The misunderstanding between you both might escalate, and you might unknowingly give power to your ex.

  • It might lead to more confusion and hurt.

Ultimately, the decision to ignore your ex back lies in your hands. It could make or mar the already very fragile relationship and make you get rejected at the end of the day. So, it should be analyzed from a balanced viewpoint. Carefully think about every pros and cons that this decision would bring. This will help you make a decision that you will stand by and not regret in the long run.

Contemplating whether to ‘block my ex’? Gain insights from this article: Should I Block My Ex?

Moving Forward: Finding Closure or Reopening Communication

If you want to move forward from all the hurt the ignoring is causing you, there are two things to do. These are independently finding closure or reopening communication with your ex.

Independently Finding Closure and Healing Breakup Wounds

One of the most important things to do when your ex keeps ignoring you is to let go. No matter how much you hurt or want to get them back, if they don’t feel the same way, then accept the situation and let go. It is time to close that door and get the closure you need to keep yourself from hurting over and over again.

  • Take time to reflect on how your ex’s ignorance affects you and your response to it.

  • You could talk to friends, family, or relationship experts, such as Brad Browning, about your feelings.

You need to know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Dwelling on the past or being curious about things that have ended or people who have left your life will only keep you stuck in a cycle of pain, hurt, and negativity.

Therefore, instead of constantly worrying about why your ex is ignoring you and badgering them with calls and texts, seek ways to get the closure you need and do it independently. No one can help you but you.

Reopening Communication

If you know that communicating with your ex is the only way to move on, then you need to have a groundwork to reopen the communication lines between you both.

First, it is important to note that before you reach out, be clear about your intentions as to why you want to reopen the communication lines between you and your ex. This helps you channel how you want the conversation to begin and what you want to get off your mind and chest.

Next, start with sending a casual message. Be calm, gentle, and friendly in your approach. Also, once you both are in talks, respect their responses. You need to understand the fact that your ex might be open to talk, non-responsive, or hesitant, so you need to be prepared for any of the reactions.  

Also, be open and honest when talking, even if your ex gives you the cold shoulder. This relays your message loud and clear. 

Note: This might be overwhelming, but take things at your own pace, trust your instincts, and everything will be fine.

If you want to know if you can get back with your ex, understand the reasons your ex is ignoring you, take the quiz.

Facing the challenge of your ex blocking you? Discover how to respond in this article: How to Respond When Your Ex Blocks You.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey of Emotional Healing

One thing is certain: Being ignored by the one person you loved the most at one point is painful, even excruciating. But you need to know that they are your “ex” for a reason, even if you want to get your ex back. Instead of getting all worked up about the fact that your ex is ignoring you, get all worked up on doing something extremely positive for you and your emotional well-being, and then maybe your ex will see you in a different light.

Also, you need to let go. Leave your ex alone for a while. As painful and hurtful as it may be, move on. Pull yourself out of that sea of pain and start your life afresh, focusing on personal growth, resiliency, and a calm mind. All these are important for your emotional well-being, especially if you want your ex back.

So, regardless of your ex’s behavior, move on. Be happy. Love yourself. Always have a smile on your face. Then your chances of getting your ex back after they ignored you are higher.

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About Alex

Alex Bert is an esteemed relationship coach with a specialization in marital counseling. With over 14 years of experience, Alex and his team have developed multi-lingual online programs that have positively impacted over 180,000 individuals globally. His approach, known for its effectiveness and often counterintuitive advice, is grounded in extensive real-world experience rather than theory. 

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